Articles Womanhood and Motherhood “In Essentials Unity, In Non-Essentials Liberty, In All Things Charity”
| “In Essentials Unity, In Non-Essentials Liberty, In All Things Charity” |
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| Saturday, 03 May 2008 17:50 | |
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“In Essentials Unity, In Non-Essentials Liberty, In All Things Charity” is the title of a rather long and (at least to my mind) complicated paper on spiritual unity amongst the Christian church. However, my post is not about that! My post is about parenting or, more specifically, mothering. We mothers fall into two common traps. The first is the competitive trap. We "battle" to have the smartest, tallest, best sleeping babies and children. Or we trade off "bad baby" stories to see who is suffering the most. The other trap is the criticism trap. Instead of supporting each other on our journeys as mothers, often a long, lonely journey, we judge, blame and criticise. Both traps are to do with comparison. But it should not be like this! God has given us our own unique perspectives, experiences and talents. He has given us our children, with their own perspectives, talents and needs. There are some essentials of mothering. We mustn't abuse our children. We must care for their needs: physical, emotional, intellectual, social and spiritual. We must love them. We clothe them, feed them, correct their behaviour when it is untoward. We all parent differently. In the end, it doesn't matter if we send our kids to day care (or preschool) one day a week, five days a week or not at all. It doesn't matter if we require our kids to wear shoes outside all the time or if we mostly walk around in bare feet. While breastfeeding has many advantages, our children will still thrive and become healthy, functioning adults if we feed them with a bottle. Some people sleep in the same bed with their baby, some in the same room and some at opposite ends of the house. If it works for that family then that's what they need to do. As long as other parents are not abusing their children, we should allow others to do what works and celebrate our differences. That is what the title of this post is all about. In essentials like caring for our children, we have unity; we all love and care for our children. In non essentials, we have liberty; we can freely choose the best way for us to parent - for ourselves and our children. Above all, we must be loving (the meaning of "charity" in this context). In everything we should put on love and not our judges robes. Let's support each other as parents and not pull each other down! |
